His single mother suffered frequent physical illnesses, such as pneumonia and pleurisy.
“She preyed on the fact I was coming into puberty and made me feel important and special,” he tells me.įrom this distance Hamish now understands he was just a child when the abuse occurred he was unable to consent to sex with an adult in a position of power.Īt the time though, it was a different story: “I thought I was enjoying it and I thought I was grown up.”ĭespite growing up in a wealthy suburb and going to a private school, home life was difficult. One day she just initiated it, she just started touching me and it just went from there. “She had this big bedroom and if we were ever sick or anything like that we’d stay in her bed. Hamish,* now in his 50s, was 12 years old the first time he recalls having sex with his mother. Mothers might also withdraw of basic human needs, such as food and shelter.
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While some boys were mentally coerced into “a full sexual relationship” with their mother, Lucetta explains that others were on the receiving end of “incredible violence” if they tried to resist. University of Canberra researcher Lucetta Thomas has interviewed dozens of men who have been sexually abused by their mothers. I wanted these men to know they aren’t alone and it’s not their fault. I didn’t want this to happen to anyone else. “When Marcus died, I knew I had to finish the research. “He was not only sexually abused by his mother from a very young age but when he became older and was able to physically prevent her from abusing him, she engaged another friend to be her strong arm so she could continue the acts of sexual violence against him,” Lucetta explains. Since she met him, Lucetta had witnessed Marcus struggling to come to terms with what happened to him in childhood. The PhD she’s currently writing is about sons who were sexually abused by their biological mothers - just as Marcus had been. Lucetta knew their real meaning this was an urgent final plea. To an outsider, these could be understood as simple words of encouragement. The sentence that stayed with her was this one: “The only course of action is for you to do something positive, like finish the PhD.” Marcus died by suicide two years ago and when he did, he left University of Canberra researcher Lucetta Thomas a message. “I AM very sorry I brought you so much pain,” Marcus* wrote in his final letter, “Thank you for caring for me. TRIGGER WARNING: This story discusses experiences of childhood sexual abuse, incest and suicide.
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